The Winter Classic Drinking Game

It really is a good thing that the game is played on the 2nd this year. I don’t think there is anyone who wants to do serious drinking at noon after getting smashed the night before (especially a champagne drunk). I mean, sure, they could go for a little hair of the dog, as they […]


The Anaheim Ducks are the center of HBO’s universe

Undoubtedly, there have been two stars of the HBO 24/7 series for the past two Winter Classics (Winters Classic?). Last year in preparation for the game between the Capitals and Penguins, Bruce Boudreau rose to fame for his colorful language. Well, colored with F-bombs, anyways. Boudreau and Alex Ovechkin didn’t get along, and he was […]

Have a Staaly Jolly Christmas CONCLUSION

Chapter one Chatper two   ERIC: Hey, does anyone remember Mrs. Guildman? JORDAN: Yeah, she hated my guts. JARED: Mine too. MARC: She thought I was OK. ERIC: If she’s still around, we should totally say hi. Yanno, for the Christmas spirit and whatever. MAMA STAAL: but one of you needs to stay and help […]


The Versus [Drinking] Game of the Week; Chicago at Pittsburgh

I saw the Blackhawks the other day, live when they were in St. Paul to play the Wild. I have to tell you, they are a team that I definitely don’t mind seeing again. While many people like a brutish, physical game, I like watching a gifted skill player in action, and the Blackhawks have […]


What is this?

Evgeni Malkin would like to dry hump you all in the face. He’s wearing breezers, but he can feel it. 


And now a soliloquy from a Penguins fan

Man, Sidney Crosby, injured again. This really underscores the importance of concussion safety. I mean, Crosby is struggling to recover from one of the most brutal, cheapest shots I have ever seen in my life from Dave Steckel. Honestly, he should have been arrested for that hit, let alone a penalty. David Kreijci isn’t nearly […]


The Versus [Drinking] Game of the Week; San Jose at Colorado

I expect that starting next year, we will see a lot more Colorado. The Pacific Division, or as I will now call it, the MacBrayer Division (you know it exists, but never actually see anything from it) will play a lot less central time zone games, which means if West Coast teams are going to […]

Hockey fights in Turkey are incredibly frightening Well, first the question is “how did they get ice or interest in hockey to Turkey?” Next is “does the lack of commentary make this video a little spooky?” (yes). Thirdly, “how can I ensure that I am never involved in a Turkish hockey game?” via With Leather 


Kelly Chase breaks down Tuesday night’s Blues game

Tuesday night was a perfect example of… of…. Listen. The Blues and Red Wings played strong, they gave it their all, 100% on the ice… Listen, that first period was… it was…. it was, I mean. Just listen, that first period.Scoring didn’t start until the second, and I tell you what…. listen, this Alex Steen, […]

Have a Staaly Jolly Christmas, part 1

(SCENE: ERIC, JORDAN and MARC STAAL are at their parents’ house in Thunder bay, Ontario.) MAMA STAAL: It’s so nice to have you boys here for Christmas, even if Jared is running a bit late.  It’s just too bad that the dog ate our turkey…and the ham.  And about six pies. FATHER STAAL: Damn turkey […]


The Versus [Drinking] Game of the Week; Phoenix at Chicago

Enjoy it while you can, America. The Phoenix Coyotes are on TV. And they still exist, which is also remarkable. I hope everyone successfully navigated the holiday and a week without much by way of posts here at BMR. I, nor Loser Domi are machines. But now I am back, and ready to encourage binge […]


The Devils finally have a slogan for the topless degenerates of Newark

Tired of having to arrest so many sweaty, shirtless drunks and meth-heads in northern New Jersey, the police departments of Newark, Jersey City and Passaic have banded together with the front office of the New Jersey Devils to form a PSA, reminding locals that it’s simply public decency to be fully clothed in public. Besides, […]


Happy Thanksgiving from Barry Melrose Rocks!

I hope you and yours had a wonderful American Thanksgiving (screw you, as always, Canada). I hope you spent time with your family, whether they be a large group like the Sutters, a little off like the Sedins or always on the move like the Ferences. The number one thing that I am thankful for […]