Early in the season, we had a bit of a wager here at BMR. Kevin, LD and I are all fans of teams that were not playing well, and didn't seem like they would at any point in the year. Kevin's Islanders and LD's Leafs could be described as "long suffering", while my Wild looked weak this offseason, mostly due to the departure of stars like Stephane Veilleux and nobody else I can think of right this moment. Well, the three of us decided that one of our teams would eventually emerge as the least bad, and that was cause for celebration. The worst team's fan would have to create a video lauding the virtues of the best team, the middle team's fan would merely write a post to that effect, and the fan of the best team would simply sit back and enjoy the forced adulation.

The season is over now. Let us review the standings. Oh! Looky here! The Wild have 84 points, the Islanders ended up with 79, and the Leafs had a paltry 74. We didn't set any specific guidelines for the post or the video (which thankfully will star LD and not Kevin... for obvious reasons), suffice it to say that I will consider the debt paid when I am sufficiently self inflated.

This should be fun.

This post could also be labeled "thing for the Florida Panthers to do", but then I remembered they are in Florida, and could probably just go outside or to the beach. I almost named it "something for Wild, Islander, Maple Leaf or Hurricane fans to do", but judging the sample size of 4 blog writers here, we need no excuse to watch hockey, or to go on a bender. That said, here are a few rules to drink by, should that be your bag.

DRINK

.... for ever octave Doc Emrick goes above his typical volume.

.... every time the Rangers are mentioned. especially if they are mentioned more than the Predators or Coyotes (I feel like I am close to making my East Coast bias point... some day).

.... every time there is a beer commercial, or any alcohol reference by the announcer. For fun, go for whatever brand is being advertised. This could get dangerous, if you do a shot every time they say "shot".

....every time the phrase "Stanley Cup Playoffs" is uttered. An old classic

Special side drinking game!

You and your friends, if you have any, each come up with a story line. Every time your story line is mentioned, that means the others have to drink. Let's say, for example, Kevin, LD, Dave and I are all hanging out. My story line is "Crosby vs Ovechkin", Kevins is "the Hossa curse", LD is " Hey, the Sedin's are brothers!", and Dave's is "Steve Begin's thoughts on the Monroe Doctrine", So, every time Pierre Maguire talks about Steve Begin's personal policy on US military deployment in Cameroon, Kevin, LD and myself have a nip. Get it? Good. Throw out some ideas in los commentarios. Happy playoffs!

I’m sure you’ve all seen the video of Evander Kane knocking out Matt Cooke.Here it is again, just because I can:

This video was so moving to me, it inspired me to combine two of my best loves: hockey fights and Broadway musicals. I’m in a production of Grease (woo, being an extra!), so of course I’m hearing “Grease songs everywhere I go.

What the hell, Jack? I thought you were crazy. I thought you were unhinged, spontaneous and the anti-Joe Buck. For the love of Tkachuk, you were the guy who got all excited and once compared a Bruins victory to a Revolutionary War battle. You didn't just compare sports to war. You compared a regular season game to colonial warfare. Who does that? I mean, really.

So that's why, Jack, when you lost your shit -- or should I say got mildly excited -- when the Bruins scored 3 shorthanded goals on the same penalty kill I was disappointed. Sure, you got all excited, but you didn't even try and one up the Revolutionary War reference. Maybe if you had compared this triumph to storming the beaches of Normandy or Rocky defeating Mr. T in Rocky III it would be OK. But no, Mr. Edwards. I am disappointed with your level of excitement. You had the good luck to call something that no NHL announcer before you has ever been able to call. And you didn't make a spectacular Jack Edwards Call. It's OK. Really, it is. Just next time, remember what you're here for -- to go absolutely bat shit and say crazy things.

[in a dejected St. Louis locker room]

Paul Kariya: Hey, come on guys, I know we're done with the season and we didn't make the playoffs, but just remember, we're hockey players, and we get to play hockey as our JOB! Now, come on everyone, let's all go around and say what we love about playing hockey. We'll feel better in no time!

David Perron: I like the rush of scoring a goal. It's such a rare thrill. I'm never happier than after I've just scored!

BJ Crombeen: I love skating. You feel like you're going so fast, almost like you're flying!

Roman Polak: I like that my name is two nationalities, and I'm not either!

Kariya: Stay on topic, Roman

Matt d'Agostini: I like going on the road and seeing new places and staying at hotels. I never would have thought that I would enjoy Edmonton that much, but I do!

Erik Johnson: I love how dedicated the fans are. It's such a thrill when everyone shouts and cheers when we hit the ice.

TJ Oshie: I like that we play in the winter. We get to enjoy the offseason in the summer and go outside and spend the 4th of July at home with our families, and when it's done, we get to come back and play mor hockey!

Keith Tkachuk: *sigh*

(congrats on a great career, Keith. One of the last NHL 94 stars still out there)

LOSER DOMI: Thank you for coming in, John, if I can cal you John.

JOHN TAVARES: Oh, it’s, uh…no problem. No problem at all.

LD: Are you sure? You’re looking a little bit flushed.

TAVARES: Oh, that’s nothing. It’s just that, uh…that’s from the season, you know, and how much work and effort has to go into every game. You have to give 110% every game, and, uh, work every game one shift at a time and stuff.

LD: OK, that makes sense. What are your thoughts as your first NHL season comes to a close?

TAVARES: I think it’s been a good season, and, uh, I’ve been contributing offensively to the team? And the Islanders have a good chance at good drafting and, uh, they are an organization that’s looking toward the future? And, uh, we didn’t have the best year this year, but we have some definite promise and we’re going in a good direction.  

LD: Do you have any special plans for the offseason?

And now, a reenactment of my adventures in southern California. The scene? A hotel bar in Anaheim. It was late. Based extremely loosely on real events.

Enforcers friend #1 (From Phoenix): Why are there so many people wearing Vancouver Canucks stuff here?

Friend #2: Maybe the Canucks played the Ducks or some--

Enforcer (lubed on hotel whiskey): GAAA CANUCKS GO HOME I HATE YOU SO MUCH

Canucks fans: Oh, but we rather like your state, that's a pity! We're leaving tomorrow!

Enforcer: Oh... I'm... I'm not from California.

Canucks fans: But then why do you hate us for being here?

Enforcer: I just... just.... I HATE THE CANUCKS

Canucks: Oh! Silly us! You were talking about the team! Well, we're all entitled to our own opinion.

Enforcer: STOP BEING SO F*KING LIKEABLE!

Friends: Let's go to bed, kiddo

No, seriously. Let's see him try it. I bet even he can't make it through a puck-sized hole in the net from the far blueline.