The Sharks are actualy sticking around this year in the playoffs, shirking a long, painful history of blowing it when things were on the line. This year, they were able to fight their way past the Colorado Avalanche and are now  up 3-0 against the Red Wings. They can't possibly keep this up. Something cosmic will happen, and the Sharks will come crashing down to earth, comforted only by their tears. What might happen?

- Joe Thornton plays an ill timed prank, switching places with cousin Scott Thornton.

- Embittered St. Louis Blues dans takes a hockey stick to the Achiles of the entire defensive corps.

- Those damn reds stop handing them the games. Am I right, Detroit?!

- Knucklepuck

- Bigfoot attacks the HP Pavillion.

- Global warming

- In a sweeping government regulation that, frankly, has been a long time coming, teal is outlawed.

- The Sharks stop playing good hockey, just like every other year,

***Welcome to the Offcial Chatrroom of the New York Islanders!***

RickyD: Mr. Snow, I can talk to you about anything related to my career, right?
Garth_Vader: Sure, Ricky, that’s what I’m for.
RickyD: Well, I went onto the Internet, and I found a site called WebMD. They have this thing called a “symptom checker” where you can put in what you’re feeling, like a runny nose or whatever, and it will tell you what you might have.
Garth_Vader: Sure, I’ve heard of that.
RickyD: It turns out…I have it all.
Garth_Vader:…What do you mean?
RickyD: I have every disease, malady, and injury known to mankind. Well, except I might not be pregnant…then again, I can’t remember when I my last period, so even that’s not totally ruled out. Here’s the printout.

North of the border they have hockey leagues other than the NHL (we all know the AHL doesn't quite count). One of which is the Ontario Hockey League and their championship series is going on right not between the Barrie Colts and Windsor Spitfires. As it turns out, the Colts are getting their shit rocked. Sunday night, they were trailing 5-2 with a minute left in Game 3, about to go down 3-0 in the best-of-seven series. So, they did what any team would do given the situation and started taking runs at their opponents.

A few game misconducts later there was about a minute to go and Barrie's Darren Archibald was faced with a problem. The opposing goaltender went behind his net to play a puck. Archibald, skating full bore towards the puck, was faced with a dilemma. Destroy the goaltender or not destroy the goaltender. Actually, I'm not so sure he ever though about it at all. Here's the video.

I know you have been upset with the officiating so far against the the Sharks. I know you want to win the Stanley Cup... for the third time in the past decade. But as a fan of the Wild, and someone who once was a fan of the North Stars, well.... I think Mr. Krabs can take it from here.

Here is a quick run down of the teams that have won the NBA Championship in the past 25 years: LA Lakers, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Houston, San Antonio, and Miami. The small cities in there are obviously San Antonio and Miami. In the NHL, in that time, we have seen Edmonton, Montreal, Calgary, Pittsburgh, New York, New Jersey, Detroit, Dallas, Colorado, Tampa Bay, Carolina, and Anaheim. Other than New York/New Jersey and Anaheim, the most major of metropolitan areas have been avoided. Those three teams combined to win 4 Cups in the past 24 teams. Los Angeles won 7 in that time in the NBA. Chicago won 6. In the 7 years the Lakers won NBA championships, the NHL saw 5 different Champions.

The NBA is successful commercially because their top teams end up in the largest cities in the country over and over again. But really, it's about a 5 team league, and has been for some time now. Even the smaller market teams that win are enormous towns like San Antonio, or are eminently marketable like Miami. Of course, with the big stars showing up in the top markets, and those big city teams winning every year, the idea that the league is fixed has been circulating and gathering steam.

The NHL, on the other hand, is more exciting for fans of the sport because, obviously, anything can happen. On average the NHL has a different champion for every two years. And they could come from cities like Edmonton or Raleigh. It makes it sound like a genuine league and more competetive. When you watch the games, it isn't a foregone conclusion as it is in the NBA. Isn't that why we watch the game? Because it's fun? And you don't know what's going to happen? If you know what the result will be, you might as well go to a movie.

Of course, with Slapshot, the Mighty Ducks and even Sudden Death, hockey movies are better too.

On April 10th, the Boston College men's ice hockey team won the NCAA championship by beating up on Wisconsin, 5-0. Of course -- this being college and all -- the kids have been living it up. And by "living it up" I mean "getting hammered". Because it's college.

While most kids use excuses such as "there's no class on Saturday" and "my girlfriend dumped me" to go out and get drunk on Friday night, you'd have to figure that "winning a national championship" is right on the top of the list of such excuses. It's probably just above "graduating" and under "won the lottery." So, it's hard to expect them to not drink under such circumstances. And I guess it's hard to expect them to behave when they drink cause it's college, but as the upstanding (read: jealous) member of adult society that I now am, I must scoff at them. Begin the scoffing!

As the dutiful and respectable college hockey champions that they are, four members of the BC hockey team and four other students packed into a Jeep and smashed it into a trolley in Boston last weekend. Luckily, there were no life-threatening injuries and the driver wasn't drinking. So, it could have easily been really bad, but luckily wasn't and we can still sit here and make jokes.

But despite all this, there's one really damning paragraph in the Boston Globe's article that explains everything that happened (emphasis mine).

The players involved in the accident are all freshman who played on BC's recent national championship team, according to a roster on the college's website.

Ugh. It's always freshman.

That blond haired Scandinavian fellow could be any number of Minnesotans, but it is in fact Wild captain and center Mikko Koivu. Reports are surfacing that he has a full slate for the offseason. Here is the full run down on what Mikko has planned during the off season, all of it seemingly under the knife.

- Arthroscopic surgery on right shoulder

- Arthroscopic surgery on right knee

- Tommy John surgery on left elbow

- Visit Saku and family

- Blood transfusion

- Appendectomy

- Rhinoplasty

- Vacation in Finnish Lake Country

- Lasik

- Heart stent (for fun)

- Medical circumcision

-  Come back to Minnesota quite literally a new man!

On the previous post, the true, harrowing tale of a car full of Coyotes traipsing around Detroit, we had the heartfelt, well spoken motivational message from Dave Tippett. Of course, the word "motivational" is the internet equivalent of a porchlight, and all the moths came flocking to it. Well, one did. A robot commenter decided to inhabit valuable bandwidth. It turns out, the robot was dispatched from some website for motivational speakers. Rather than simply delete the comment, I figured this was an oppurtunity to draw attention to myself. The only way that I can think to do this is by typing motivational buzz words. Here goes.

- Inspiration

- Clarity

- Ambition

- Unity

- Together

- Success

- Challenge

- Roenick

- Talent

- Integrity

- Strength

[In a late model sedan, driving through Detroit, with Dave Tippett at the wheel]

Vernon Fiddler: I have to admit, Coach Tippett, your motivational techniques were rather bizarre, but you managed to get us all the way to the playoffs. Here we are in Detroit!

Jim Vandermeer: Yeah, telling us it was all right to blow, it made us more comfortable, and allowed us to be more cohesive as a team.

Dave Tippett: Oh and how I love the way you guys blow! I don't think anyone blows with the same passion the Phoenix Coyotes do.

VF: You've even regained my trust after driving us into a tornado. Of course, I'm only comfortable riding with you to the hotel immediately after a game, like right now.

DT: Oh, Vernon, we're not going to the hotel. I want you to see 8 Mile Road!

JV: Wait, what? Isn't that rife with crime and dangerous for non residents? Remember the last time we took a detour?

VF: Yeah, and we haven't seen Peter Mueller since, poor guy got tossed to Colorado or Nebraska or something.

Zbynek Michalek: NEBRASKA!!!

DT: Guys, I want to show you this street to teach you a lesson. Look how hard the people around you are working. Many of them are working many jobs just to feed their kids, but they know they still have more work to do if they want to achieve their real goals. Sure, we're much better off than these residents, but they have a lesson for us. Never be content.

JV: And do whatever you can to get out of Detroit.

VF: Right, let's get out of here. This place sucks.

DT: Ooh. A rap battle! I got mad flow!