Oh no! It's three Finnish hockey players coming precariously close to the boards and plexiglass that separates us and will certainly impede their progress should they colide with them! I better lean slightly to my left just in case!

IN OTHER NEWS

Who invited this guy?

(Yoinked from www.redwings.nhl.com)

This is the second Minnesota-Chicago game we have had this season. What, is Minnesota not good enough to garner attention unless Chicago is involved? Vice versa? Why don't they put the obviously superior Canadian teams on Versus? Especially if they want to show the Northwest conference. But I digress. I am glad the Wild are one of Versus' favorite teams. If they can get on TV more, perhaps that will mean free agents want to come to Minnesota, knowing they will get the same TV time. Those narcissistic free agents. Since last we saw the Wild, they have really turned it around, thanks to newcomers stepping up, not the least of whom is noted lothario Guillaume Latendresse.Of course, with the Wild playing Brent Seabrook and organized crime's favorite team, the Blackhawks, this is your classic "Good vs Evil" game. So that's exciting. So anyways, I say we drink.

DRINK

... Every time the word "concussion" is said as it relates to a Minnesota player. By the time you are done, you will have the spins worse than Pierre-Marc Bouchard.

... For every wrong answer you get in this quiz in the Blackhawk and Wild categories. Jocelyn Thibault is not an answer.

... If Andrew Brunette scores a goal with his head. Five drinks if he is called a wimp for not using his face.

... For every goal Minnesota scores, multiplied by the points Minnesota is ahead of your team in the standings [only applicable if your name is Schultz or Loser Domi]

Dinking player of the week: Duncan Keith

- Duncan decided to go to Michigan State, despite being from Manitoba. He claims it was for an education, I'm sure, but you can't fool me. You went to Michigan State!

- The 'Hawks claim he is the assistant captain. Everyone knows that Seabrook is the boss. When the cops come, Keith will be the first to go down, and Seabrook will get away problem free. Again.

- Duncan recognizes that the has station's buy two sodas for 2 dollars deal is a good bargain, but he will decline the offer. He would rather steal them.

Tonight, boys and girls, we're going to be taking a bit of a different route with our semi-weekly chat. We'll be starting at 10:30 PM EST (come a bit earlier for the cocktail hour, if you like) and are going to be watching/discussing the Kings and Sharks game. And who says we're not down with OPP the west coast? Snoop will be there and maybe Tupac if we can master human resurrection by then.

Anywho, come in and join the fun. Topics will include but are not limited to:

- Bananas (pictured)

- Swedish Chicks (also pictured)

- Ric Flair

- Swedish Chicks

- Kings/Sharks

- Anze Kopitar

- Star Wars

- Swedish Chicks

By the way... DO NOT search "banana girl" on Google image search with the safe search off. I'm sure that warning won't stop you, but you can't say I didn't try.

In Unfortunate Headlines News, NHL.com gives us a gem about the Blues' new coach Davis Payne. "Payne Gets Blizted in Debut"

So, for those of you not "down with the kids" that basically means that Payne got drunk and stoned at the same time. The Blues were certainly looking to get a younger influence behind the bench when they replaced 58-year old Andy Murray with the 39-year old Payne but I'm not sure college frat parties on the bench for their young players is quite what John Davidson had in mind. Anyway, the always entertaining Urban Dictionary provides us with a vivid definition and example of what took place last night:

I didn't see the game, but I imagine it must have been awesome if you were sitting behind the Blues bench.

Her at BMR, we're always willing to improve ourselves. Here are some New Year's resolutions that we want to work on:

Loser Domi: Usually I don't like making resolutions, since I can never keep them and I'm let down.But this year, I think I have one I can keep: I  resolve to not get knocked up/infected with an STI

Kevin: "I need to figure out a plan to dedicate more time to blogging. It's been tough since I started work. So that's one thing. I also haven't played hockey in years and want to get back into it, which means getting back into shape and the typical resolution that will inevitably be broken.As for the NHL... The Islanders better make one to get that arena deal done. I'm going to lose my mind if they don't!"

We also like looking for an excuse to speculate about the lives of NHL personalities. After the jump, join us for what we (Kevin and I) think some personalities of the NHL might want to improve in 2010.

Everyone is going to pay attention to the NHL on Friday. Well, when they aren't watching the Rose Bowl. Everyone loves the novelty of playing a hockey game outside. Why is this? Nobody wants to watch Lebron James play at Progressive Field, you know? But the thing is, everyone loves it. Non-Hockey fans like yo watch for abotu 10 minutes as they show what Fenway Park looks like with a hockey rink in left field, likely hoping that someone gets checked into the Green Monster, even though it's about 50 feet from the rink. The real allure, I think, is for hockey fans, because, for the most part, this is where we cut our teeth playing the game. Outside, at the local rink in depressingly intense cold, flurries flying. It's going to take people back to their youth. And they will wonder why their dad's loved it so much. It's because they had booze to keep them warm.

DRINK

... for every montage dedicated to olde tyme pond hockey. There will be many. I suggest laced hot cocoa.

... for every fan created NBC acronym sign. Extra drink for every letter away from the beginning of the word the N B or C is.

... if there is talk of a Manny that could have been playing in left in Fenway, until he was jettisoned from Boston. Drink thrice if it actually is about Manny Fernandez.

... if Jeff Carter is boning your wife.

Drinking player of the year: Adam McQuaid

- Adam McQuaid has played only three games this season, his first in the NHL. Wow, and he is already the drinking player of the year. What an honor.

- Adam is from Prince Edward Island. As it turns out, they do not recognize New Years Day as a holiday on PEI. Adam will go to bed at 1130, just like always, not knowing what the deal is.

- McQuaid got his shot when Milan Lucic was injured. Watch your back, McQuaid. Milan Lucic is no one to mess with.

Well, really only if your Olympic team is Team Sweden. In that case, he thinks that the committee choosing the team can stick it where the sun don't shine. Per FanHouse:

When asked about the snub following Vancouver's 5-1 win in Calgary on Sunday, Samuelsson was brutally honest in sharing his frustration: "Probably going to get in trouble for this, but they can go (expletive) themselves."

That's the holiday spirit! In his defense though, Islander reject Mattias Weinhandl made the team. When you don't make the team over someone who couldn't even make the Islanders, well, that's probably cause for some justifiable outrage.

But this isn't the first time that Samuelsson has lashed out. Here are a few other memorable moments I pulled out of the archives.

On trying, and having trouble with, opening a jar of peanut butter:

"Probably not going to help the situation, but you can go (expletive) yourself peanut butter."

Discussing being stuck on a Canucks team that will be mediocre until the end of time:

"Probably going to get in trouble for this, but they can go (expletive) themselves."

On the retirement of Jeremy Roenick:

"WHYYYYYYYYYYY????!!!!???"

Oh wait, that one was me. Sorry.

On bananas:

"Probably going to get in trouble for this, but you can go (fuck) yourself bananas!"

/chat joke