We're here with Ron Paul on MSNBC, getting his opinion on the break down in relations between Canada and the United States, due to something called "hockey". Ron Paul, what's you take?!

Ron Paul: This never would have happened if they weren't a bunch of socialists in Canada!

Insightful is always, Mr. Paul! Stay tuned for more from Vancouver where "hockey" has broken out!

LOSER DOMI: First of all, I'd like to thank you for agreeing to call in from Vancouver, Mr. Grabovski.

MIKHAIL GRABOVSKI: Please, it is Mkihail, or Grabbo if you likes. I flexible guy (pause) Oh wait, you can'ts see me winking over phone can yous?

LD: No, I can't. Sorry.

MG: Oopsies.

Has there ever been a manlier name in the history of manliness than that which oozes from each syllable of the name Tore Vikingstad? Did you have to look up where Mr. Vikingstad was from or did you just know that he was from Norway because he couldn't possibly be something like, I don't know, French? Is it even a question as to whether or not Mr. Vikingstad is in fact the Ruler of the Known Universe because every time you say his name the syllables leap from your tounge and head straight to Colorado to bitch slap Paul Stastny? Has there even been another man who could create fear in an enemy with only his name?

*sound of a record stopping*

PAUL STASTNY: WHO IS THIS WHO QUESTIONS THE AWESOME POWERS OF STASTNY??? I ASK THEE TO STEP FORWARD AND DISPLAY OR NOT DISPLAY THEIR COURAGE.

As Team Finland steam rolls the competition in Vancouver - led, of course, by Carolina players Tuomo Ruutu & Joni Pitkanen - I'm taking this moment to bask in their glory. And what better way to celebrate the Finns than with some Coco:

hakkaa päälle!

***Welcome to the Official Chatroom of USA Olympic Men's Hockey Team!***

Kane_Is_Abel: 'Sup G's? It's Olympic times, beetches!

Ho_Malone: Uh, what did you just say?

KesselRun81Parsecs: YAAAY! New Friendies!

Kane_Is_Abel: Yeah, we gonna kick some ass all the way to bronze, amirite, or amirite?

Kane_Is_Abel: /awkward gang sign.

Ho_Malone: Dude, why do you try to talk like a rapper? You're from friggin' Buffalo. Seriously.

KesselRun81Parsecs: Buffalo? Like where the wings come from? They're tasty.

Kane_Is_Abel: I'm just tryin' to readjust before I can get my dehonkyfying surgery done. I mean, it's not like I don't admire the honkys and cracka-ass crackas out there, know what I'm sayin'?

Orpik_Excell: LOL wut?

Kane_Is_Abel: I mean, I admire your culture and all, but I ain't one of  ya.

Kesselrun81Parsecs: The hell are you talking about?

Orpik_Excell: I think he thinks he's black.

Kane_Is_Abel: I mean, I even do research into your beautiful culture. Like Big and Rich:

KesselRun81Parsecs: WOO Big and Rich!

Ho_Malone: You're a disgrace to...common decency.

Orpik_Excell: You don't even know the words. Nice Blackberry.

Kane_Is_Abel: Ain't no thang but a chicken wing.

(glovetap to The Hockey Chronicles for finding this video)

Gotta love Barry Melrose. As you know, we do quite a bit. Yesterday he was on the set of ESPN's First Take and had an interesting exchange with host Jay Crawford. After going back and forth for a bit about who is an older old coot, Melrose reveals Canada's beauty secret is... um... Chicken poop? He gets +1 for momentarily stunning Crawford.

This was all on live television so, naturally, ESPN rolled out their standard apology letter a little while later. But it's OK, Barry. I'm not mad at you. In fact, I'd imagine people would actually watch First Take if this is what happened on a regular basis. But, sadly, Jaw Crawford and Dana Jacobson are about as entertaining and funny as chicken poop. I would say that you should take over at First Take, Barry, but no one should go near that show without a blowtorch and kerosene. So next time, just stick to Sportscenter buddy.

h/t Bob's Blitz

I'm not sure if the execs at ESPN think this is supposed to be punishment or something -- clearly, it's not -- but they've sent everyone in their hockey department to cover the Olympics in Vancouver. Literally everyone. Last night I was watching Sportscenter and Barry Melrose, John Buccigross AND Matthew Barnaby all appeared on my television screen during a segment discussing hockey at the Olympics. AND they weren't in a studio at Bristol. They were actually in Vancouver. Or at least outside ESPN studios in Bristol, which given the amount of snowfall in the Northeast probably looks a lot like Vancouver right now.

AND not only did they send those three to Vancouver but they sent Pierre LeBrun and Scott Burnside too! ESPN sent FIVE HOCKEY ANALYSTS to the Olympics. FIVE!!! I'm no fact checker but they haven't sent that many to the Stanley Cup Finals since the Finals were actually on ESPN!

So now there's so much going on I don't even know what to do with myself. From the trio on Sportscenter to LeBrun and Burnside getting upclose and personal in video blogs this is too much for me to handle. Imagine if all five did a video blog together on top of whatever mountain LeBrun and Burnside are in this video. It would be the whitest video ever. You couldn't find that much middle aged white guy at a pizza place in the middle of Staten Island (or a Denny's in Topeka if you're like Ryan and from the West Coast).

Dustin Penner: Hey Tom, does it look like that guy is about to eat my head?

Tom Gilbert: Uhhhhh...

Penner: You know, if someone from the AP or Getty Images was about to take a picture of us.

Gilbert: Heh. Yeah, sorta. He's like "I'm gonna eat your head Dustin"

Penner: Heh, yeah.....

[silence]

Penner: What are you going to do with your two weeks off Tom?

Gilbert: What? Two weeks off?

Penner: Yeah, for the Olympics. There's a two week break. Didn't you know?

Gilber: Heck, I thought we were taking the whole season off.

Penner: lol

Gilbert: lol

[silence]

Gilbert: Wait, what's the Olympics.

Penner: It's where the greatest athletes in the world come together to compete in their sport. This year they are playing in Vancouver. The best hockey players in the world will be there, which is why we have time off.

Gilbert: Best hockey players in the world? Yeah, I'm not going to be there.

Penner: lol

Gilbert: lol

[silence]

Gilbert: Where the hell is Vancouver?

The Wild made a trade today, unloading Kim Johnsson and a prospect on the Hawks for young Cam Barker. I wanted to look into what Barker brings to the Wild, specifically, so I hit the Google. Anyone who has tried to look up a hockey player online knows that the third suggestion for every one of htem (save for Jinelle Zaugg-Siergiej) is "[Player X] girlfriend". Obviously, I had to check out his catty jersey chaser girlfriend page.
Some facts and quotes that I learned and read.

- The Chicago ice girls (or whatever) should change their name to the "Ice Trash/sluts/dying for attention hoes".

- "How do you log into Facebook?"

- Cam's girlfriends is a "dull looking brunette"

- There is some anonymous hockey skank that is willing to hook up with him, despite protestations that he looks like a turtle and/or Clay Aiken.

Every sport has their skanks, but I think hockey's have to be the best. They've taken to the internet!

Jinelle Zaugg-Siergiej is a defenseman for the women's Team USA Hockey squad and is on her way to Vancouver to participate in the upcoming Olympic games.  She's a former Wisconsin Badger who can check you through the boards and pose for a modeling shoot in the same night.  USA! USA! USA!

She was sweet enough to answer a few of our silly questions prior to her departure.

BMR: Tell all the kiddies who you are and what you do.

JZS: My name is Jinelle Zaugg-Siergiej and I’m a fun loving, home schooled, boys hockey playing, two time Wisconsin national champion hockey player free time spent going horse back riding, newly married member of the 2010 US Women’s Olympic team.

BMR: What is the worst butchered pronunciation of your last name you've heard so far? Has anyone ever sprained anything pronouncing your name? For the record, what is the proper way?

JZS: Several announcers mush my maiden name Zaugg and my married name Siergiej into “Zaugg’s are gay”… that would probably be the worst.

BMR: When you played on boy's teams in high school, how much grief did they give you? How fun was it to outplay the dudes after they talked trash to you?

JZS: The boys always gave me a hard time no matter what I always “skated like a girl” but when I was able to take the first line spot or check a guy into the boards it was all worth it.

BMR: Best college hangout in Madison?

JZS: Well between carrying 12-18 credits in school, and being at the rink for 2-5 hours a day the hang out was my house with my non-hockey roomies.

BMR: Being a badger, can you at least find humor in the "No Badgers" commercials? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwsNLWLJELw).

JZS: Well ping blue is not a badger color but watching a badger talking is always humorous to me.

BMR: Here's a fun fact about badgers: Although badgers do not go out of their way to look for a fight, they will fight very aggressively when provoked or attacked. Would this be a fair way to describe your style of game?

JZS: I play my game no matter what others think… it works for me… I’m sure I could be meaner and tougher but playing like I do has worked.

BMR: Beer + Frozen Wisconsin Pond = Fun Hockey for Jinelle?

JZS: I don’t really like beer but I love playing outside on the pond.

 BMR:  Whoah, whoah, whoah - you don't like beer?  Interview OVER!  We kid, we kid.  Please don't hurt us. How to beat Team Canada in Vancouver this month? and who else besides Team Canada and Team USA are favorites for Gold in Vancouver?

JZS: All we need to do is play the way we know how… with no regrets and as hard as we can and then, we will beat Canada. Finland and Sweden are also two great teams.

BMR:  Do you ladies constantly tell Team USA Coach Mark Johnson, "we're totally gonna one-up the Miracle On Ice!  You think that was special?  You just wait and see there, dude." ?

JZS: Mark Johnson is a Legion of his own so we won’t touch the 1980 miracle, however we are ready to make a path of our own and maybe have a movie that tells our story when we are all said and done.

 BMR: Your teammate, Angela Ruggeiro, was recently on "The Celebrity Apprentice" with Donald Trump. Naturally, you'll need to do something cooler than that.. what will it be?

JZS: I’m not in it to compete with those who have already come. My goal is to make a name for myself.

 BMR:  And what better way to start making a name for yourself than an appearance on BMR!  Is there anyone in the game that could be a mustache away from being George Parros, glove-dropping fighter and all?

JZS: Not that I know of.

  BMR: You were just being nice with that last answer, admit it.  What's the pre-game ritual? Post-game?

JZS: There is a mixture of football throwing, soccer ball juggling, and anything in between for pre-game followed by ladder drills and warm up stretching, and post game we all cool down, stretch and foam role.

BMR: "If I'm playing EA NHL 10 - I'm playing as ____ team. "

JZS: I don’t know

BMR: I'll answer that last one for you.  You're always the Whalers.

Thank you to Jinelle for answering our questions and obliging the interview!  Best of luck to her and her teammates in Vancouver.  Go America!