15 of the NHL’s 16 playoff positions have been determined already. There are only two teams fighting for that last spot. The Coyotes and Stars are the only teams in the NHL with anything to really play for in the waning embers of the NHL season. Who do we really want in the postseason, through? Neither of these teams really register in the national consciousness typically, so let’s create a superficial competition involving both franchises and the cities they call home to figure out who deserves the spot most.
City they actually play in:
Wait, isn’t there one of those in California?
Phoenix: Yes, there is a Glendale in California
Dallas: If there is a Dallas in California, I’ve never heard of it.
Most annoying fan base in the same market
Phoenix: Arizona Wildcats?
Who shares their home arena?
Dallas: The NBA’s Mavericks
Tangible NHL history:
Phoenix: Has never done anything, except destroy Marian Hossa in the playoffs.
Dallas: Won the Stanley Cup, fueling Buffalo’s all consuming depression
Whose heart did they rip out, merely by existing?
Phoenix: They stole the Jets from Winnipeg, but the Jets came back… only after being snatched from Atlanta
Dallas: Minnesota. And yes, everyone in Minnesota is still bitter. Replaced by a beloved, relevant team.
Hot enough for ya?
Phoenix: It’s a dry heat
Dallas: Boy howdy!
Arenas corporate sponsor:
Phoenix: Jobing.com. What the hell is Jobing.com
Dallas: American Airlines
Which mascot would win in a fight?
Phoenix: Coyotes can be vicious canids, especially when cornered and pressed into a situation in which they need to defend themselves. Otherwise, they are often desert scavengers.
Dallas: A fiery, gaseous ball with temperatures measured in the millions, and exerting the gravitational force to hold entire planets within its realm.
Chain restaurant headquartered in town:
Phoenix: PF Chang’s
Looking at the math, it appears that Dallas is the most desirable team to reach the post season. When the postseason stars, of course, all bets are off.