A letter from Ryan Miller

Ran miller
Hello everyone, I’m Ryan Miller of the Buffalo Sabres.  A few days ago, I called Milan Lucic a piece of shit after he ran into me.  I would like to apologize for my outburst, as it has been upsetting to Boston fans. 

It was rude of me to point out what a piece of shit he is, even if it’s true,  and I should have kept my opinon to myself. My mother always said that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all.  And later in that clip, when I said “he’s a shit”? I apologize for that too.  I’m a smart guy–I shouldn’t have stooped to using such poor grammar like that.  

I would also like to point out that in past seasons, Lucic spent more time out for a broken finger than his former teammate Phil Kessel did for TESTICULAR CANCER.  I’m pretty sure Phil Kessel needs marks on the inside of his skates so he doesn’t put his skates on the wrong feet, but that’s beside the point.  It’s not that I’m trying to say that Milan Lucic is a coward who is more of a wuss than a mildly retarded man with one testicle–I’m just making an observation. 

You’re on the list, Lucic. Along with Mike Richards the mass murderer, and Dan Carcillo (because honestly, it’s Carcillo–do I even need a reason?) I smoked Carcillo right in the damn face and had Weber finish him off.  I’m just biding my time with Mike Richards–his time will come when he least expects it. 

I must apologise for my temper.  Concussions and whiplash are awful, and they can cause an awful lot of brain damage, especially if you have too many of them. Did you know that irritability and other behavior issues can result from having too many concussions? Well, I suppose you would know that, if you had a decently working frontal lobe.  

By the way, this is me with my wife, who will be taking care of me during my recovery:
miller noreen

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time I got motorboating. Kiss my ass, Lucic.