Stempniak to Leafs: “If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it”

Lee Stempniak, courtesy of Archi Zuber
(photo from

In a press conference yesterday, the Phoenix Coyotes announced that they had resigned right wing Lee Stempniak for an additional two years. Both parties seemed very pleased with the agreement.

Stempniak was quoted as saying “I’m really excited to be part of this team’s plan for the future. I know there are some people in Toronto who might miss me, even if I went invisible every now and then. I guess all I have to say is ‘if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.’”

“Oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh oh”, added the 27 year old.

The press conference was interrupted by a confused Kanye west, who shouted “I’mma let you finish, Dutchie, but Wile E was the best coyote OF ALL TIME! What the hell’s a hockey?” West then left to work on his new album, in which he compares himself to a ninja version of Jesus and complains that hoes are trying to take his money when he’s in need.

When asked to respond to Stempniak’s statements, Brian Burke, general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs commented “Whatever. I can find another Stemps in a minute. Now stop calling, I don’t wanna think anymore. It’s like I’m living in Grand Central Station.”