League Not Even Trying Anymore to Hide Hatred of Red Wings
Written by Schultz   
Friday, 22 January 2010 10:55

Last week, the Detroit Red Wings got screwed again. A shootout goal was disallowed by the referee standing about .6 inches from the puck and then promptly and inexplicably overturned when the play was reviewed by Toronto. And no conclusive replays have surfaced. And Detroit, kind of like the Brooklyn Brawler, got screwed for the umpteenth time.

As you can imagine, the relationship between the Wings and the League Office is a bit strained after everything that's happened in the past few years. It's starting to be like one of those relationships -- everyone knows them -- where the couple just fights and fights and nobody really understands why they haven't just broken up already. The league office is just, like, so totally tired of the Red Wings being so needy all the time ohmygawd. So, like, um, like, yesterday I had a chance to sit down with NHL Deputy Commish Bill Daly and discuss the latest Detroit Screw Job. Is this like the third this season? Tenth? I like so lost count cause numbers make my head hurt ohmygawd!

BMR: So, Bill... You're like totally cute. *brushes back bangs* And, ohmygawd, you and like the Red Wings are like so totally great together but I can tell somethings so totally wrong. I'm really good with fixing relationships and stuff. So tell me, what's going on?!??1?

Billy: Ugh. *also brushes back bangs* They're like so like needy like awl the timeuhhhhh. Like last week, they just wouldn't leave me alone during math class. Mike Babcock kept passing me notes saying like "im sryz" and "take me back plz" but he's just like so desperate you knowww?

BMR: OMG I SO KNOW WHAT YOU MEANUHHH!

*Both giggle*

Billy: And then Mike Babcock won't stop yelling at me. He's all like "OMGWTF THATZ A GOAL!!1!!" and I'm like "Nuh uh" and he's like "uh huh" and I'm like "nuh uh" and he like doesn't stop. If Nick Lidstrom wasn't so dreamy we would have let them go a long time ago.

BMR: So, like, do you think you're going to like break up with them?

Billy: I don't knowwwww. Cause then they'd like not have a league to play in. So even though we don't like them we can't like, kick them out on the street. Then they'd have to sleep in boxes outside 7/11.

BMR: Yeah, at least you're giving them a place to stay. That's soooooo nice of you omg!

Billy: Yeah, I know.

BMR: So, like, there you have it. We so totally solved so many problems today! Go hockey!

 

Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging...



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Comments (2)Add Comment
ya know
written by Loser domi, January 23, 2010
Kevin, like, I bet that the, uh Red wings would totally like to say something here.
I dislike the Wings as much as any other Chicago person
written by titansaturnae, January 25, 2010
But fair is fair and rules are rules.
I think they got screwed on that one.

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