Want to be on SportsCenter? Grab my shirt
You really should diverisfy your 401k. The way the market is trending and how you have it invested is really taking a lot of unecessary risks with your nest egg.
In fight club, Ed Norton and Brad Pitt were THE SAME PERSON!
Pull my finger. No, seriously. Pull my finger.
Roberto Luongo’s so fat he makes Marty Brodeur look thin. ZING!
I’m going to take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner AND NEVER CALL HER AGAIN.
Remember that time you grabbed my shirt in the parking lot after a game? Let’s recreate that special moment, baby.
Steve Carell is leaving the Office!
HAVEN’T YOU SEEN MY MOVIES?! DEEP BLUE SEA! A FRIGGIN’ SHARK ATE ME!
Derp de derp derp deee derp
I can’t believe it’s not butter
THIS AIN’T NO BANK ROBBERY!
I just got off your girlfriend… Off the phone with. I meant to stay she’s a very nice young lady!
I can get you some extra unpaid vacation time. Just come a little closer…
Hey Farva, want a liter-a-cola?!
Cablevision doesn’t carry Fox anymore!
Here’s 20 bucks, now give me my 15 minutes of fame.