My Imaginary Interviews: MIke Van Ryn

Naturally, I don’t have access to NHLers, so I can’t interview them directly. However, using the power of my imagination, I can recreate what it might look like if I had access to an NHL player. Today I present an interview with Maple Leafs Defenceman and notable survivor  of splodeybones Mike Van Ryn

Loser Domi:
Mr. Van Ryn, thank you for coming out today.
Mike Van Ryn: Thanks for having me, and you can call me Mike, that’s fine.
LD: OK, good.
(VAN RYN’S chair collapses, causing him to fall on the ground)

LD: OH! Are you OK?
MVR: Oh I’m fine– a few cuts, scrapes and a dislocated elbow never hurt anyone…actually if you could get some ice or something for me that’d be great.

Later on…

LD: How’s the elbow?
MVR: Much better than I thought it would be. Still dislocated, but it’s not as bad as I thought. 
LD: OH good. Now, to my first question—(A ceiling tile falls and lands on VAN RYN’s head, knocking him unconscious. )

Sometime later…

MVR:…no, don’t worry about it, the concussion is fine!
LD: The concussion is fine, but how is your head?
MVR: It’s fine, don’t worry about it (MIKE VAN RYN bursts into flames)

About Kim Ware

Former hockey joke monger who currently lives in Tampa, Florida. She occasionally yells at bad movies, shows, and sports you don't watch on twitter @loser_domi