With the Leafs out of the playoffs, I’m left wondering which team (if any) I should throw my support behind. With only four teams left in the playoffs, I find myself looking at them and thinking, “Ah, crap.” I can’t find a team I would really like to win. Instead, I’ll be looking at the teams in terms of “which team winning the Cup would irritate me the least?” I present my analysis of the teams from most irritating to least, all for totally dumb and selfish reasons.
1: Carolina Hurricanes–
Dave’s been giving Ryan, Kevin and I enough crap over the fact that his team, the Hurricanes, was the only BMR-member supported team to make it to the playoffs. If the Hurricanes win the Cup, Dave will NEVER. SHUT. UP. about this. EVER. And with former Leafs coach Paul Maurice heading up the Hurricanes, he’s never going to let me forget it.
The Blackhawks last won the Stanley Cup in 1961. If they win a cup this year, it means the Maple Leafs will have the longest Cupless drought in the entire NHL. If that happens, I’ll never stop getting crap from…well, everyone.
3: Pittsburgh Penguins–
A Penguins win wouldn’t really irritate me that much, but it wouldn’t make me all that happy. On the bright side, I can do some pretty nice “Guys on Ice” NHL chats with the Penguins. On the other hand, a Penguins win means that the amount of coverage on Sidney Crosby gets even bigger than it already is. Some of you may already know of how Sidney looks like my older brother, and how it creeps the hell out of me–especially when I’m watching Sidney Crosby on TV with the brother in the room with me.
4: Detroit Red Wings–
I find the Red Wings a bit like that kid who got straight As in middle school–nobody wanted him at a party, but everyone wanted to copy his math homework. I don’t really like the team, but I can begrudingly respect the ability and move on. I can’t even do a decent Guys On Ice chat with the Red wings–their names are pun-proof and nobody really sands out as a character. An all Wings chat would look something like this:
***Welcome to the detroit Red wings Chat room!***
Pavel_Datsyuk: Oh guys, isn’t it nice that we’re such a classy organization?
Henrik_Zetterburg: Oh yes, I do enjoy being so classy. Hey, Tomas Holmstrom, while you’re up,would you please get me a protein shake?
Tomas_Holmstrom: Sure thing, classy guy!
***Tomas_Holmstrom has fallen down, but is cushioned by his gigantic ass***
See what I mean? Lamesauce.